Mr. Faustin/Transcript

Episode 25: Mr. Faustin.

(Mich's phone rings.)

Roman: (Phone) Mich. Are you there?

Mich: I'm here, Roman. Why are you whispering?

Roman: I am on Tulsa Street, near Perestroika. Come Mich, quick!

(Mich arrives at Roman's location. Roman is nowhere to be seen.)

Mich: Roman?

(A dumpster lid opens. Romas pops his head out.)

Roman: Psst. In here.

Mich: Roman, what are you doing in the trash?

Roman: Are they here?

Mich: What are talking about? Get outta there, man. A dumpster's not a place for people.

Roman: I'm freaking out, man. I'm being followed. I saw them.

Mich: Don't be like that. You're being paranoid.

Roman: I'm being? Fuck you. Fuck you. Everything was fine, then you had to mess with Cinch. Now we're dead, because Faustin is a psychopath.. he's going to kill us.. because you killed Cinch. Cinch was his woman.. that's how it works.. you kill her, they kill you. (Ducks back into the dumpster and closes the lid.)

Mich: Roman, get outta that dumpster!! (Bangs on the dumpster) Listen to me, I didn't kill Cinch. She committed suicide. It was all on video. She violated UNSC protocol. I had to go after her. We'll be just fine. Now get outta there, you smell like cabbage.

Roman: I don't want to, man. I'm shitting myself. (Gasp)

(Mich is knocked out by one of Faustin's men.)

Andrei: Get out of the dumpster, Mr. Fat Man!! (Bangs on the dumpster with his AK) Come on, fatty, the boss wants a little chat!!

(Mich awakens hours later in a basement. He sees Adagio Dazzle.)

Mich: Wha...?

Adagio: WAKE UP! (Slaps Mich) We had to gag him to stop him from screaming. (Points at Roman) You shouldn't have brought them here, Andrei

Andrei: Why not? (To Mich) You've been a bad boy, Mr. Super Guy, and the boss is not happy!

Mich: (Sarcastically) Oh no! (Chuckled) I shit my pants!

Andrei: Not yet, (picks up a hacksaw) but you will. Who are you working for?

Mich: Errr, that guy, Roman.

Roman: (Mumbled) MMM?!

Mich: Don't be an idiot!

Andrei: That's not good enough. I'm gonna saw off your fucking arm. Speak!

Mich: Okay, okay, you're a guy who loves to be Rick Rolled, what do you want me to say, huh?

(Andrei shoves the edge of the saw into Mich's face. He then slaps him with it.)

Andrei: Very funny... do you think you're so smart?!

Mich: NO! I'm tied up in a basement a long way from home, while some ape threatens me with a hacksaw, so no, I'm not that smart!

???: Shut the fuck up!

(Faustin arrives down the stairs with Adagio.)

Faustin: My fucking wife is watching television. (Sees the two victims) Good Lord... what are you doing?

Andrei: Nothing... I mean... I was finding out who he is...

Faustin: And? Who is he?

Andrei: He is... his cousin.

Faustin You were about to cut some guy in my house, making all that noise, to find out he is his cousin? Where did you find this idiot?

Adagio: An old... friend of mine. We did some... things... in San Andreas. Also some who knew your associate.

Faustin: She's an imbecile. (Walks up to Mich) So, Agent Michigan. You think it's okay to kill my employees?

Mich: If she's an bitch, yes.

(Faustin executes Andrei. Roman screams into the gag.)

Faustin: I agree.

Adagio: Mikhail!!

Faustin: Asshole look at me like I am piece of shit!

Adagio: (Groans) This is not good.

Faustin: Now listen... Agent Michigan. You're very lucky Cinch was an idiot. The only reason why I keep her around is because of those enhancements. Look at me. You owe me. I got some dickheads in my neighborhood trying to run a shipment, yeah?

Adagio: And we have someone interested in those armor enhancements.

Faustin: But I need you to get them so we can complete the sale.

Mich: Can you untie Roman?

Adagio: Don't worry. I got him.

(Adagio ungags Roman.)

Roman: HELP!! HELP ME!!!!

Mich: Shut up, Roman.

Faustin: SHUT UP!

Mich: Roman shut up.

Faustin: SHUT HIM UP!!

Adagio: How?!

Mich: Shut up Roman!!

(Faustin shoots Roman in the gut.)

Mich: Fuck!

Adagio: Mikhail!

Faustin: Shut up!

Adagio: Stop shooting people, you maniac!

Faustin: My wife don't like when people shout!

Adagio: Whatever! (To Mich) YOU BETTER GET THOSE ARMOR ENHANCEMENTS BACK SOON!!

Faustin: Or I will personally pull your friend's stitches out, one by one, and watch his guts spill onto the floor! (To Adagio) Clean this shit up!

(Faustin leaves.)

Adagio: Listen, I'll take care of Niko cousin, but right now, you better get those enhancements. They're at Francis International!

(Adagio unties Mich.)

Mich: Roman!

Adagio: GO! I'll get him to a doctor!